Opportunities Unknown

What a time it has been since my last entry. I feel about as unknown to myself as my four followers are on this here BlogSpot. Ha. Regardless of all the chit-chat and banter of daily life I always tend to find myself in the same spot each night. I have taken a new step into my life and find myself in the same spot I was in a year ago. Searching through all the mindless chatter of the daily ranting online public…to the more distinguished banter of the everyday Twitter celebrity. I find myself on every stupid message board I promised I would never go back on, however, gosh dang I am back. Summer brings boredom…I wish summer brought jobs. I wish summer took away a lonely feeling that I get deep down in the pit of my stomach only to be relieved every few days. A pit that can be relieved with a simple phone call, but only lasts a few minutes. Is it so fricken wrong for me to feel this way? I wish you would say yes…and maybe provide a solution of other frantic methods I could try in order to relieve pain and to get some new symptoms. Symptoms modern day doctors call ‘side-effects’. It is my choice not to associate with the drunkards and mindless druggies that this world brings to my side. But at the same time I feel a sense of loneliness when I cannot be with my only best friend. I cannot be with my best friend at all times, nor do I want to. Even if I was awarded that possibility I think it would be healthier to reject. If I were the type of person to inflict damage upon oneself I would have a cut for each angry thought for feeling ditched or alone…or forgotten. For every time I felt put up on the shelf…to be forgotten just until the moment I am needed the next. No Destiny this portion is not just about you…I feel this way about others at times. However, you are my best friend…besides the lonely man who lives near a city called Chicago. But, Chicago is a faraway land and my other best friend holds a busy schedule. Let me hand you a pencil and write my name down for Friday. Friday works best for me. Maybe even I can treat you to dinner at a fine dining restaurant tomorrow night. We will see what my schedule holds. Tomorrow will come and it will hold the same sights as it did for me today. It will hold empty lines and unknown ink stains. I guess the only excuse I could give is because I have no pen in distance to write my schedule. Or secretly not tell the world there is nothing worth writing down…until Friday. Flip the page a week or two and maybe some fun things will be seen but the loneliness stretches throughout much farer. Sounding emo is bad these days…I am farthest from emo, however, my feelings sometimes do get the best of me and writing is a way to release. Yungtown moved and Bravado is unheard of…so I cannot do music. Not to mention my music is unheard of bad and should not even be heard or thought up for that matter. One day I will write in my schedule something for me to do…in the meantime I sit and wait for an unexpected opportunity to leave the darkness of my bedroom.