Love is in the Air

Love is in the air, I was just lucky enough to breathe it.

She read it. I was afraid of that. Even though I regret bringing it up, I’m glad I did. Parallel thoughts always seem to invade my mind. In fact she’s talking to me as I write this. Her voice is present in my mind at this moment. Caressing my one new sense. My favorite sense. The sense of her. If I did in fact bomb Tokyo, Paris, London, New York, Australia, Rome, and Florida…Baby just for you I would re-build every location with my own hands. Just so I could see the happiness in your eyes and a smile on your gorgeous face. You just hung up the phone. I miss you already. To see you all I have to do is minimize, but it is simply not the same. I do like the fact however, that when I do minimize I get a kiss from you every time. The fact I even said I would erase you from my memory both haunts me and angers me. Baby, imagine erasing all of your memory up until the point of reading this sentence. You would feel lost, alone, confused. If I had erased you, I imagine my feelings would be the same multiplied by 1,000. I took my jacket back in a figurative sense, but next time I see you I will give it back. Literally. I want you to have some piece of me, so you can think of me. Sense me. Touch me. Love me…wherever you go. I was right that you are not my beautiful assistant though. I have come to realize you are the magician and I am simply the lucky contestant you chose from the audience. Now you work your magic on me. I love it. I’m glad you decided to make me apart of your show. However, it is not just a show. It is much more, it is your life. My life. Our lives. Maybe I can become a permanent helper. I’d love that. That would be a perfect fairy tale ending. Up until last night I did not realize that I could care for you anymore. You surprised me, pleasantly. In neither of the past two blogs have I mentioned God. I guess for the simple fact we never really did either. Until last night. Which makes me love you so much more. Because God is the one who brought us together and is holding us in place. He is the one who influenced the air to move in a way only noticeable to us. Love is in the air I have noticed. But I’ve also taken into account all the people that do not know the feeling I feel. I feel terrible for them that they have not had the chance to feel so happy and so lucky. This time of the year is supposed to be the most joyous and I think that is why I am not in the spirit. Because I feel more joyful when I am with you than I would opening any gift or singing any Christmas carol. I was afraid that break would make us grow apart in a sense. Ironically, I think we’ve gotten a lot closer than I thought we would. I love that. It’s been four days since we’ve last seen each other and if you ask me…I think four days is too much. Which frustrates me. But like you said, at least we get to talk. Love is in the air. Did you breathe it into my lungs or me into yours? Or did our breath meet halfway and intertwine into each other and invade our lungs and seep into our hearts. I think the latter. I have come to realize, or just accept the fact that our relationship is neither you nor I. It is us. Neither of you nor I won, we both won. I love you more than you can know. I am glad I can never comprehend your love for me either. Our feelings are inevitably mutual.

Pause, Rewind, Re-Record

I was right. I was wrong. I’ve fallen victim of this arrow tip. I’ve always wondered what it was like to get shot by Cupid. Weird comparison. Weird feelings. Weird situation. Better weird than boring, I like this new weird. Forget the scale of 10’s. This new weird involves a new scale. Percentage. Your percentage started long before my time, but mine rose higher in less. Is higher the best? Simply, yes. Baby, I miss you right now. I love you right now. 105/100%. “I lov…miss you!” is what you said. Laughing hard I did not know you meant it. You wanted me to say it. Sorry baby. I did mean it though on Sunday. Love equals an extremely meaningful word, especially for just one syllable. If my chest did not feel this pressure of excitement I would not have said I love you. Heart is located in the chest. Love equals heart. Therefore, heart equals love. You mentioned last night how you liked my heart beat pressed up onto yours. I like it too. Ever since December 9th I have not had the ability to keep my lips from yours. But neither can you. Nor can I keep my mind from you. Last night I saw you in my dreams and now I cannot wait to go to sleep. Oh, you did what you were welcome to. I was right again that I was wrong. If someone were to ask what I want for this Christmas I would tell them I already got it. The only way it would be better would be to hold you in my arms all day. Watch a movie. Well, attempt it. I want to take you anywhere you want. If it exists I want to take you to both ends of a Rainbow. It exists now. As of now we haven’t talked since 3 AM. Call me now. I’m tired of remembering your voice from memory. Rainbow…Let’s walk into the street in the midst of the rain. Kiss. The rain will turn to snow. I’ll take you to each end of the bow. Someday We’ll Know if the captain of the Titanic cried. Someday I’ll buy us a ticket to the end of the rainbow even if it’s 90 miles outside Chicago. Back to touch. Back to love. Back to us. Back to school, so I can see you everyday. But I cannot complain. I cannot complain because I cannot see pain. I see pain when we are apart. Kiss me so I can shut up. Mwuah.

"I'm Cold"

If you’re cold then let me warm you up. I have the capability, but do you have the ability to accept? She said all these times where I was welcome to, but I questioned what I was really welcome to. I mean an invitation could be extended to a certain extent where the meaning is masked by a secret desire to remain alone. But why would you throw yourself into the water when you would turn your nose up to the rescuer, which resulted in you drowning. Death? The death is questionable because I really do not know your intentions as always. Nothing is new, nothing is ever new. I was your rescuer at a time, but this is December first and I have morphed into a shark, becoming the one to pull at your feet as you stay afloat on the water, only to eventually pull you under. Yes, death. If you were a feeling incrusted into my skin, or God-forbid, my mind - then I would commit suicide from the constant appearance of this new feeling. I can touch cold, I can touch warm, I can touch you. My skin will forever remain petrified by that touch, nagging at my mind, the same one you are embedded on, always reminding me of your texture and each curve each intricate curve in your fingerprints. If I wanted to stroke your hand once more, I couldn’t, just because you never missed my touch in the first place. If at first hate, got in the way, yeah I read you that poem. As usual you didn’t care, but my heart speaks out in ways in which you wouldn’t understand even if you did care. Remember when you sang twinkle twinkle little star, I laughed and created my own version. Your name alone makes me think about my life. You didn’t miss me til’ I brought it up. I am going to bomb Tokyo, and Paris, and while I am at it…London too. In fact, let me take New York, Australia, Rome, and Florida with me too. That way we could never go. The butterfly’s wings were not permanent either, I was wrong again. I was wrong again? Whenever we spoke and had a disagreement I was always right, but I was wrong for talking to you in the first place. So does that erase my rights and make me completely wrong? “Houston, we have a problem,” because now that I am in space my equipment is not working properly, in turn leaving me alone, focused on my sense, including my new one. Basically, Always Better Yourself, right babe? You taught me something, too bad once I erase you from my memory I will have forgotten what I’ve learned. That screwed up my fairy tale ending. Now I’m barely descending this hill of snow when you tell me you are cold. Willingly I offered you my jacket, which you accepted. I woke up, with new memories of you…even though I hadn’t seen you in 4 days. Ironically, you did as well. I opened my eyes and you were right there smiling, with your hand on mine. Suddenly I reverted to the labyrinth of your touch and I refused magic. I am Houdini, but you are not my beautiful assistant…anymore. However, your beauty remains. Open this box, I will be gone. To add danger to the situation, shoot bullets, or just call me baby. As of this moment all these feelings could be wrong now, and hopefully will be wrong later. Oh yeah, I want my jacket back. I will most likely talk to you tomorrow, but for right now I’m cold. Mmhm, you won, nhuhuh.